For This I Am Thankful...

In true Thanksgiving fashion, I'm here to write about what I'm thankful for this year. There's a lot of ugly out in the world right now, so I feel like this is more important than ever. Important to take stock. 

I used to be the person who layed awake at night & worried over so much. I would think of all the things I needed to do the next day, then all the goals I still need to accomplish, then I'd wonder if I was enough. Enough to get where I wanted to be, enough to make people happy, enough to be the person everyone seems to think I am. I'd worry over things I cannot control; things completely out of my hands. 

But this year, I just let go. 

I accepted that sometimes the wind isn't going to blow my way. Sometimes I'm going to have to adjust my sail. 

 That's not to say, I don't lay my head down with the weight of the world still resting on my shiulders. But, let's just say it's considsrably less often. 

I'm thankful for that inner quiet that whispers more than it screams. 

I'm thankful that I grew in friendship & in family this year. I feel as though the stars have aligned in some way; I have a fantastic group of people I call my friends. They're people who really get me, and even when they don't they just smile & nod. 

The last bit is a twofer. 

My best friend, my husband. There are no words that truley express how thankful I am for you. You are not so much the air I breathe, but the breeze that catches my feet to raise me up. You arr not so much my reason to smile, but my laugh just as it reaches joy. I am in awe of you every day. I love you. 

It is because of you I am most thankful for the little burst of sunshine I finally got to warm in. I am so thankful that I met my stepson. He gave me a jolt of energy & arenewed  sense of purpose & self. I've lived him from behind the scenes, but it was really inspiring to step in front of the curtain. 

And for this I am thankful.  

First Dates or How I Became A Fan Of The Confederacy...

*the names have been changed to protect the ridiculously good-looking.

So I had a date Friday night. Yes, I just actually admitted I had a date. This in itself is a big step, as I'm always the girl who says, "It's not a date you guys! We're just friends!" But this was a date. Mutual interest. Mutual attraction. Mutual want for something better than we have now, and what we've gotten in the past. Yep, a date. Now normally, I'm not one to get nervous over such things as dudes but the anticipation of meeting this one made me ridiculously nervous. I think I probably burned 4500 calories in just leg-shaking all day on Friday, bit off every nail on my fingers, and compulsively checked my face for pop-up breakouts. Nerves. Nerves. Nerves.After getting home from work and just sitting around and calming myself... my nerves subsided and I was ready. Ridiculous excited..but ready.

It's been a while since I've had any real interest in anyone. I had the break-up the very end of January, the mistake turned disaster at the end of March up until sometime in May, then the re-try at the end of June. That really gave me closure on something I always thought would be an open door. But I closed it. It hurt, I hated it, and I cried for a while about it, but I needed to close it. I was holding myself back from ever finding someone who can truly put me first, and I can finally give my heart to somebody who knows what to do with it. It can finally be on the level, and on the equal.

Needless to say at this point, I had an interest in this boy. But now that I've met "Dirty South" I have put a cape on that interest and called it SUPER interest. Now, he was already in the positives on the point scale before he got there but him driving 2 hours to pick me up for this date basically put him way out of range from dipping into the low side of that scale. Everyone who knows me personally, knows that act in itself speaks very loudly to me. Anyway, he jumped out of the car and kissed me right on the mouth... he did warn me of this before he even got there, but I just took it as all talk... nope..he made good on that threat. As far as I'm concerned, he can continue to threaten me. Haha. We went for dinner, talked and talked, and talked, made out, and talked, and talked, made out again, and talked, and made out, talked and talked and then made out again.. and talked for I think like 3 hours, but it didn't feel that long at all. Felt like 3 minutes. God, even in just writing a blog about it I'm having trouble formulating words... apparently, he makes me stupid.

I can't drag this out any longer, lemme just end it by saying I had the best time, and I'm hoping for many more dates in the future.If potential had a region it would be the Dirty South.

I Love You Blogger, Let's Start Over...

Ok so Tumblr is getting on my nerves. You log on and think one of your profound blogs has gotten "liked" or "reblogged" 90 times and then it turns out it's a sex spam thing that just wants you to click on it, and make others click on it. Frankly my dear, I'm over it.
 Unfortunately, I've not kept my Blogger updated with the happenings of my life because of my recent addiction to Tumblr.  So what I'd like to do today, so provide links here to keep you updated on the goings-on. Because much has happened since June. Sad times, heartache, fun times, stupid times, good times, rants and raves and perhaps something awesome on the horizon. Here is the link to my archive on Tumblr, I've probably made over 500 posts since June...so have fun with that:
http://ewoknwoll.tumblr.com/archive

If possible I'm going to just try and update both of these. I do have a few kids on Tumblr who actually do follow my blog and look forward to me posting things, and I don't want to disappoint. (Most of them are teenage girls...and they're adorably emo)

That's right Blogger.. I could never leave you. Frankly, I prefer for Morgan Freeman to read my thoughts anyway.

Love,
Stephanie