I wanted to puke when we pulled off the exit to get to my house...the house. My stomach literally tied itself in knots and just pulled. I entered the house, it was cold... like a museum. You shouldn't touch anything to preserve its authenticity. I hugged that dog like she'd never been hugged before and the tears just flowed, I couldn't keep them in. I trembled. I flooded that house tonight.
Tonight was part 1 of moving my things out of the house that we lived in; lived in together and filled it with memories. I had to box a lot of those memories up tonight. I taped them up and I can feel them suffocating in there. I'm suffocating in here. I've got to shed the shell of a failed relationship, and it's so cold outside.
It's as if neither one of us want it to end, but we both know that it has to before things get sour and we can't salvage anything. At least with the parts we have left, we can try and build a strong friendship. I still think the world of him and if I could change things I would in a heartbeat.
Tonight was like saying goodbye to an amputated limb. The house couldn't say anything, but I could still feel it twitching. I can still feel us twitching.
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