Friday, August 28, 2009

Waking Up Is Hard To Do...Sleeping's Impossible Too

Dear Stephanie,
Tomorrow (well technically it is tomorrow, but the sun isn't up) marks one week since the end of an era, the end of life as you knew it. Little did you know that by this time your best friend would've also had a relationship crisis, which gave you time to openly speak about yours with her and reflect a bit on what all of this has meant. Maybe it will help you sleep better tonight.
If time could speak, there would be entirely too much for it to say, and I think we'd all spend most of the time trying to shut it up. I'm not sure I would. Looking back on all the memories he and I patched together over the 7 years of courtship of course there were bad times, but there was also a lot of laughter and at times a picture of what romance is supposed to be... like when you see it in the movies. I think I'll remember those most of all. Though I've never felt worse than that day, I wouldn't take any of it back, even the times I was sure I couldn't take it any more and the times I felt like running away.
There really is no anger here, no animosity for the things that couldn't be. I would give my own life to make him happy and to close the door on all his demons, but modern science hasn't figured out a way for that to happen so all I can do is hope, and have faith that one day he'll be able to finally see the man who he truely is, and come out from under this shadow that's been cast over him for so long.
They don't make a sewing kit strong enough for broken hearts but eventually they mend on their own. Time will tell.

Sincerely,
me

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