Sunday, June 7, 2009

Runaway Train

Sorry it's been so long but much has kept me from writing. There've been lack of motivation, laziness, a new job and family drama to name them all. For a while, I just didn't feel like it, I got a bit of the depression bug and didn't really want to get out of bed...but for fear my doggy would explode from urine-holding, I gave in. Then, I got a new job for which I am so grateful and thankful for. It's perfect for me. It's at a place called Ripple Junction Design Company and they make fabulous t-shirts. You can view our selection and whom we wholesale to here: http://www.ripplejunction.com I love it, and next week marks my second week there.

But while life seemed to be beginning to go the right direction for me, it was very much headed in the wrong direction for my family. My mother has been off of her medication for quite some time, and though she said she was taking it, her behavior suggested otherwise. As of Wednesday, June 3rd, my mother has been missing. She is believed to have left my parent's home in Hamilton, Ohio at around noon in a cab. A missing person's report was filed, and the police are involved but, we still havent found her or any sign of where she might've gone.
She left with her purse and that's it. She didn't take her cigarettes, a change of clothes, and left most of her jewlrey on the table. We've had no phone calls or any contact from her. I think my dad is starting to fear the worst, but I'm trying to hold everything together...as usual. She hasn't tried to write any checks or withdraw any money, and hasn't contacted any of her family members. My dad has checked the local YWCA, and a couple women's shelters this weekend but hasn't found any sign of her. He's spoken with one of the cab companies in the area and they have no record of picking anyone up at their address. The new plan for the week is to get the phone records and go through all the numbers from 6/1-6/3. My dad noticed the phone book was out on the kitchen table on Tuesday, and when he asked my mom what it was doing out she just replied, "Oh, I was just flipping through it." which my mom doesn't do...no one really does unless they are looking for something. He's also going to go down to the other cab company and speak with them and he's going to see the detective in the morning.
I'm trying to keep an open mind and not let the bad thoughts get to me, each night that goes by I wonder where she's sleeping, if she's warm enough or if she's hungry. I'm hoping she's checked herself into a hospital for some help, and didn't tell us for fear of us getting frustrated and angry and isn't ready to call us yet. She's been on the news and the media has been made aware of her disappearence. I'm missing her hugs and I just want to know that she's ok. I don't care where she is or why... I just want to know she's safe. Please whomever is reading this, keep her in your prayers that' she's ok and she'll come home safe or we'll find her safe. None of this seems real to me. I keep waking up in the morning and thinking it was just a bad dream...but it isn't, it's real.
http://www.wcpo.com/news/local/story/Police-Investigating-Disappearance-Of-Hamilton/3TKMuivB9kWMBIBrSFhJgA.cspx
So far, 26 has been the worst year I've had to face. It's been one thing after another with people in and out of the psychiatric ward, loss of my job, and my finances being ripped apart and trying to put the peices back together and figure things out in my relationships with people....I've been through more than I would wish on my worse enemy.
I feel like all of this is one big test for me in my life, and if I can make it through all of this and put the peices back together, my rewards will be great. I can't wait until these tests are over, I'm ready to feel free and look back on everything and breathe a sigh of relief and think to myself, "It was hard, but I made it...I'm still here."

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