Sunday, May 22, 2011

I Am Jack's Raging Bile Duct

I am not a bad person, and why I care what a few people in a one-horse town think or say about me is beyond me. If this is his way of getting some sort of validation in all of this, then he can have it. I know, he's reading this. It's true, all of your ploys have worked. My friends relaying messages to me that you're trying to hang out with them, and some other less than savory things that you've said to at least one in particular close friend. You writing your feelings out, and getting that encouragement of me being called a bitch, and how what I have say sounds "fishy" is all fine and good. You're completely validated in being angry, I understand. I don't want to care what you think about me, and I don't want to care what your friends think about me. But nevertheless, I do. I hope you're happy in that thought.

I've decided I don't owe you a face to face. You can keep my brother's Gamecube and games, I will buy him new ones. I know you didn't drop them off down here the other night, so that I would come up to see you to get them. Back-fire. I'll spend the money just so I don't have to deal with it. You can also continue to sarcastically call me self-less and pretend like you're better than me.  I have plenty of people in my life who really know me and were here before you, and will certainly be here after you.

Honestly, I think (and these are my thoughts and I'm entitled to them as well) you have a lot of growing to do before you're going to find the real girl of your dreams. I never called you names, I never said you were a bad guy, or a terrible boyfriend. I made a mistake in my actions. I had a lapse in judgement. Those things are not your fault, and I do sincerely apologize for bringing you down in my mud. You will make some other girl a fantastic boyfriend/husband/ and father to your children. It just wasn't me. I did do care about you, and I did all those things like drive to you, pay for a couple dates, bring you an icepack, give you gifts because I like you as a person, or rather I did before I saw this side of you. I think any sense of an amicable communication or smidgen of friendship has been blown up at this point. I hope you have all the happiness you're looking for, and you will find it. But as for now, I'm done reading your thoughts, and I'm done apologizing to you, but most of all, I'm done feeling bad about what I've done.

EVOLVE.

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