An Open Letter To You

I know you will most likely never see this. I don't know if you would even want to read it. But I need to get this out there in the world, so it can stop filling me up.

Thank you.

I know you are not in my fan club, and you never will be. It took me a little while to be okay with that. I'm someone who hates it when someone doesn't like her. But I've grown in mind, body and spirit and have come to realize that it's okay. I've come to understand your anger, and the bad taste I've left in your mouth. Nothing I can say or do will ever convince you otherwise, but I promise this was all a timing issue.
I'm sorry that I hurt you, that was never my intention.

Thank you.

It's important for me to let you know how grateful I am to you today. Despite your feelings for me, and the circumstances you are putting differences aside. I'm thankful that you are allowing this relationship to happen and you helped to make it happen.

Thank you.

While I don't want to pretend to know how you are feeling, I can imagine it's probably fear. Fear because I know it's not easy to let go. I know it's not easy to move forward. It's fucking terrifying. I want to let you know, he will be okay. Not only will he be with his father who loves him, would and has moved mountains for him, would dive in front of a bullet for him... but so would I.

I will never ever take your place, nor do I want to. You are, and will always be Mommy.

Thank you.


Thank you for giving me a chance to be a part of his life.

From the bottom of my heart,
-Stephanie-